This week we have been assessing the pieces of writing for how well the ideas have been developed using a student friendly rubric.
Throughout the process, one piece of writing really shone.
Room 25 are now really encouraging Keira Binns to continue to write her story. We fell in love with it from the beginning and all of us want to be able to read on and hear more.
I'm attaching Keira's story here so that you too can be blown away by the beautiful way Keira has begun to tell her tale.
Please be aware, that at this stage we have not fully edited the piece. Overlook any spelling mistakes and grammatical errors and allow yourself to be totally wowed by the words of this fantastic author.
The Underworld
The light of the phosphorescent moon weaved through the blooming cherry blossom trees. Little did anyone know, that deep in the Sakura Forest, hidden in the shadows of the beautiful pink blooms, lay a cave. Any person or creature that enters it will be whisked off to a magical land. There is still quite a long journey wandering through the steep tunnels that become darker and darker, until, you enter a land filled with the whooshing sounds of rivers and the pale blue skies which were lined with wispy white clouds .The only way to escape is a magical opal found in the gleaming waters of the Moonshine Pearl Pond but years ago it was stolen and fate has taken over….
“Ava Cateilia,come here this instant!”screamed mum. “Coming”.I groaned. Getting up on Mondays was terrible after being used to sleeping in during the holidays. I scurried out the door
and shoved my blue and pink Jansport bag through the car door. The day zoomed past so fast that as I lay in bed and peered out the window at the starry night sky that night, I wondered, if maybe someone had used a machine to make time whoosh away. Soon I was in a deep sleep,at least I thought I was.
Around me the air slowly turned a whirl of blue, pink and purple, the sound of wind echoed in my ears. I felt a tingly sensation stream through me and I was lifted up off my spongy bed. My eyes fluttered open, I was in a very peculiar room glass bottles were tied in a bunch and tiny glowing fireflies fluttered inside them, leaves were strung together and lay on my lap, two faces of angels stared at me hovering above my face….okay, they weren’t actually angels but they were so beautiful they could pass as an angels. “Hello darling” one of the beautiful creatures whispered. Her voice was, gentle and soft. “Kind of like a fairy” I thought. But then I realised it couldn’t be possible that one minute I was at home in bed and the next I was in a different dimension ,where everything in sight was made out of nature.I tried pinching myself to see if it was a dream,but, to my surprise after trying strategy after strategy, I realised that it wasn’t a dream and I wasn’t going to open my eyes to hear mum screaming “get up!” from the bottom of the staircase. Tears were pricking in my eyes, suddenly the one of the angelic creatures spoke up again,bowing deeply. “ Your majesty, I don’t believe you told us your name, Ava”, I replied “Ava Cateilia”I repeated shyly. “What a beautiful name” the creature commented. “Well,Your majesty” she began. “What are you and where am I and why are you calling me Your Majesty !”I interrupted, without thinking I started crying and buried my head in my chest. “Don’t cry darling, it is quite overwhelming, many before you were the same, but the reason, Princess Ava, you are here is because you were chosen to save our people and creatures that live here in The Underworld. Well you must have made a mistake because I don’t know anything about this world and I want to go home, the creature glanced at me gloomily, i’m afraid there is no possible way to escape from here unless the missing opal is found and that is when the excitement of the adventure began.
